Where is Your Focus?

I was out riding on Hannah (my harley) today and I hit a pot hole - no damage done, but I realised that I hit it because I was so busy focusing on the pot hole that I couldn't avoid it.  It's one of the first rules they teach you at riding school - focus on/look where you want to go. Look around the corner your turning, look up at the road not at your front tyre and it's soooooooo true, riding is much much smoother when I focus on where I want to be that's exactly where I end up :-)

By choosing to focus on the pothole I lost the ability to look at the whole situation and therefore see alternative routes around the pothole.

It's true that the same applies in life - what we focus on expands.
At work I can choose to focus on the fact that I don't like the way my desk faces and that I can't see out a window and how much I hate it and become increasingly miserable everyday and everyday finding something else I don't like about being where I am.
OR
I can choose to focus on the opportunity to increase the amount of time I spend away from the office, either out visiting clients or asking for the opportunity to work from home.

Previously I had chosen to focus on the fact that my King never put his dishes in the dishwasher, over time this festered to the point that when I got home from work I would immediately start looking for things he hadn't done, by focusing on the negative I kept finding more and more negative and I started to think I didn't love him any more (extreme I know)

Now I choose to focus on the things I love about my King - his awesome mash potato, the fact that he hangs the washing out for me, his big bear hugs, how he makes sure our puppy dogs get walked and bathed, the list goes on and on.  By focusing on the positive I'm happier and he's happier (he even puts his dishes in the dishwasher!!)

Focusing on where you want to be and what you want doesn't have to be the domain of the vision board or your journal, it can be part of every day.

Looking for love? - focus on what you do want in a partner
Trying to find your dream home? - focus on what you do want in that home
Kids driving you mad? - focus on what you do want from them
Work making you depressed? - focus on what you do want.
Always get crappy traffic on the way to work? - focus on having a smooth effortless journey to work


You'll be amazaed at the opportunities that present themselves when your putting your energy into getting what you do want instead of stressing about what you don't :-)

PS - Did you know that your subconscious can't hear the word don't - so when you are thinking or saying I don't want a ..........  your subconscious hears I want a ..............

Trust the voice in your head, it's usually right

We've all got one, you might call it your sixth sense, the angel on your shoulder or the little voice in your head. You know the one I'm talking about, the one that tells you not to walk down that street, to take a different route to work or not to do business with someone. Some of you might think you haven't got one or that it's very quiet, the truth is though, we don't always listen to our little voice.

Last weekend I got reminded why i should listen!

I was heading out on an overnight ride with a group of the HOGs. The destination was a 2 hr ride about 180kms away. When I ride I like to cruise along usually around 110kph, mostly because I'm not out on the road for speed, I like to relax and enjoy the ride, taking in my surroundings as I go. I can go faster but its a lot harder work on your body, the extra wind speed pushes you around more and you have a lot less reaction time to deal with things, I've only been riding for a few years and super fast just isn't my cup of tea.

When we are in a group we tend to push a bit harder, most of the time I hang back and do my own thing - (listening to my voice) and riding within my own limits, but last weekend I got sucked into pushing a lot harder than I normally would. I was very aware my little voice was saying something but chose to ignore it.

With about 40ks to go and after a short stop (where self and I had a little argument about pushing past my limit), we continued on, this time off the main highway on a road that was less than perfect! Our speed slowed, but on the windy bumpy road I was still pushing past my own ability trying to keep up with the pack, all the while still ignoring the voice that was getting more & more persistent.

Then in the middle of giving myself a mental slap it happened, I entered a sweeping bend going to fast, I slowed but hit a bump in the road, and that was it, I missed the bend and ran straight off the road into a ditch!

The whole thing happened in about 2 seconds, and I was cursing the whole way down "what were you thinking PJ, you should have listened!"

Luckily I'm fine and so is Hannah. A bit dustier than we were at the start of the experience, but no scratches, dints or broken bits. But it got me thinking, about that little voice, she had been telling me for more than an hour that I was pushing to hard and that I needed to back off, but for some reason on that day I decided I knew better than she did! Luckily for me the universe was kind with the consequences this time, and I'm still here to tell the tale!

So this week take a moment to pay attention to the voices in your head:
Do you need to slow down or take a different route?
Do you need to go to bed early?
Do you need to choose the healthy option?
Do you need to ring that friend or relative you haven't spoken to in ages but suddenly find yourself thinking about?

Ride safe
Pj

The bend where I came unstuck!



The spot where Hannah and I stopped!

Selfishness – Self-centered or Lifesaving?

Over the last 3 weeks I’ve been running around like a mad woman, mostly because I said yes to requests from lots of people in my life.  It’s not a new thing for me, I’m prone to taking on more than I should a trait I inherited from my dad & coupled with perfectionism (also from Dad) it means I often burn the candle at both ends for the benefit of others.

In a moment of clarity I posted a status update on facebook “…. Is discovering the hard way I can’t be all things to all people”  amongst the multitude of supportive replies and cries of “FINALLY” from friends and family, one struck me “You really do need to be more selfish…..Can you do that for me?”  To which my immediate thought was – no way I can’t be that self-centered.

The next day I was out for a burn on my beloved Hannah (My Purple Harley). 

When a car pulled out in front of me, I was reminded of the best piece of advice I was given about riding “Ride with the expectation that every driver on the road, whether they know it or not, is trying to kill you.”

I live by this advice when I ride, and it has saved my skin more than once.  But in order to ride like this I have to put myself first, I have to be selfish, it’s not about being self-centered, it’s about saving my life so that I can continue my journey and arrive safely at my destination.

So why when I’m off the bike do I not apply the same principal?

·         If I’m selfish and take the time out to go to my gym class, that means my health is being looked after & I can perform better “at work”

·         If I’m selfish and take the time to get a pedicure that means my brain gets some time to turn off & I’ll think more clearly when it get’s turned back on

What happens if I’m not selfish?  I end up burnt out, with the flu or having a bike accident and then I’m completely useless to the people around me!!

So this week join me & flip your mindset

Enjoy the ride

PJ

Being thankful for Roadside Assistance

Do you have roadside assist or NRMA membership for your car or bike?  You know those helpful people who come & save you when you break down on the side of the road.  Or are you the kind of person who pulls over and offers a hand to those on the side of the road with the subconscious hope that one day when you’re on the side of the road a Good Samaritan will help you?

This week I found myself at the funeral of a friend and mentor who at 46 was taken from the earth far too soon.  Tracey was an AMAZING woman who came into my life under the radar.  We weren’t the sort of friends who caught up for lunch every week or even the sort who remembered each other’s birthdays, However just like the guy from the NRMA she always appeared in my life exactly when I needed her.  And true to form, her funeral was no exception

During the funeral, guests were invited to the microphone to say a few words or share a story.  Whilst I sat listening to others speak, I had absolutely no intention of getting up.  But all of a sudden I found myself standing in front of the mic, after a few lines to explain how I knew her, I expressed that Tracey had been and still was an amazing mentor and I felt the need to say “Thanks Mate”

Afterwards I got to thinking about all the roadside assistance I have received in my life, but even more importantly it got me thinking about how I acknowledge those people who have given their time and stopped to offer a hand.

·         Have you said thanks to your mentor lately? Or have you just dumped your problem on them and run away after they help you solve it?

·         Have you said thanks to the slow driver who makes your hour long journey 2 minutes longer, but inadvertently helps you avoid a road accident of your own?

·         Have you acknowledged that your incredible husband was instrumental in making your dream come true because he actually brought you a Purple Heritage Softail for your 30^th birthday?

Your task this fortnight, think about those people who have helped you get where you are today, but most importantly, take the time to say thank you.

Enjoy the ride, PJ